The inner joy of the falling leaves.

Bakal dirindui ...

'' Autumn wins you best by this, its mute. Appeal to sympathy for its decay. ''

Uncertainties.

Mat salehs say 'when the heart speaks, the mind finds it indecent to object', heart never lies, follow your heart and you'll get the answers. Malays say 'ikut hati mati, ikut badan binasa' So which one is right and which one is wrong? For me, its true that our hearts never lie. But, never put your mind behind your heart. Use it to think. You're the only one that knows what's inside your heart. Feel it. Think about what you feel. and make the best decisions. Its hard really. Always talk to HIM and seek for HIS help. HE's always there. 

Sometimes (most of the time maybe),heart has problems which mind cannot understand. and now i just dont know what's inside the heart :( HE's the only one who knows the feelings. Nobody else. Oh Allah, please strenghten my faith, fill my heart with the spirit of Your words and please wash away all the uncertainties in my heart. Ameen. If it's really the time for me to follow what's inside the heart, please show me the right way and help me to choose what's the best. 

The beginning of the end.

Assalamualaikum

Hello dusty musty blog *sapu-sapu*. It has been quite a while eh no it has been ageeeesssss since the last time i updated this blog which was in october last year. Lets combine everything in one post okay? So yes i finished my 3rd year final exam last year and alhamdulillah i passed the exam. Thank you Allah. Thank you for everything. I am now in my final year.

Before going back to Malaysia for summer break I went to Melbourne, Australia to visit my friends. Melbourne was dry and hot like reaaallyyyy hot. My girl  friends were quite busy but luckily there are few other friends that willingly spent their time to bring me to few places in Melbourne.Thanks to M and H.

After spending couple of days in Melbourne, i went back to Malaysia for about 2 months.I had a really good time in Malaysia with my parents, friends and of course the foods which I craved so much! I ate almost everything and my mother was so surprised when her daughter is like a monster who only stopped eating when she sleept. I miss you mother :')

During the holiday, I went to Singapore end of Dicember last year after attending Kak A's wedding in Johor. It was an awesome day trip. Singapore is just a really busy and crowded city i can say. If i were given a chance to work in Singapore, I dont think i will take the chance. 

Siti and the lion :p

LegoLand, Johor

So back to student life; I came back to New Zealand on 6th February. The school began at the end of February and I already in my final year for about a month and half. Now i know the feelings of being a final year student which i always heard from my seniors. We rarely have lectures and exams anymore. However, we actually have lots of revisions and readings for preps, assigments and of course our final research for elective has started as well. Sometimes i feel like i am very stupid and i dont know how to read at all after reading too many journals, articles etc. My elective topic is about substance abused which is a literature review and it is a whole year project. oh God whyyyy. and now I'm still thinking am i really in final year?! Oh Fairuz please wake up and stop procrastinating because you gonna be really busy in second semester and you better do all your readings, unfinished preps and your research! 

After starting the semester about 2 months, before having our Easter break, my flatmates and I had our housewarming for our new flat and we invited almost everyone. We had a really awesome barbeque party at our lovely verandah (thanks to our landlord:p) and everyone enjoyed it eventhough we ran out of chicken because too many people came to our party. Lucky we had some corns for them! hahah. 

Nasib baik veranda besar gila.

So thats the story of summer break, school and flat :D lets talk about some personal feelings pulak?cewah hahah. Eh jap, ada ke? erk. Anyway, there were quite a few things happened in my life since the school started. What i can say is, the feeling of loosing people in your life is just painful. The pain that made the heart cried a lot. Thank you for those who being there for me and you, you will never see me as the same person anymore and we wont be like how we were before. 

And now, i keep telling myself not to fall because its not yet the time. Remember Fairuz you're the one that control you heart. Nobody else. So take care of it like you always do. 

It is mid of Autumn now. The leaves are falling and wind is getting colder telling everyone that Winter is coming. Soon. and me, still cant get along with coldness. It gives me breathlessness. It gives me dry skin. It gives me itchiness. 

Keep holding on cause everything will come to its end soon insyaAllah.