0 day of Ramadhan

Tadi sedikit kekeliruan berlaku.Sepatutnya kat Dunedin esok baru tengok anak bulan,lusa dijangka ramadhan.Tapi dekat facebook semua dah kalut dan bising bising puasa esok la,tanya bila puasa la,kita ni puasa ke tidak la.Macam macam.Lepas tu,si penjaga mohor mohor besar Dunedin aka housemate saya pulak tak ada kredit nak spam semua orang esok tak puasa.Tiba tiba,Kak Diha called cakap Fianz dah umumkan esok puasa,tapi masjid belum umum apa apa.Pening pening @_@ .... Alhamdulillah seketika selepas kekalutan tu baru la masjid dan Fianz dua dua dah confirmkan esok puasa pada 1 August 2011.Yay jom pergi tarawikh!

Saat ayat ayat Quran dibacakan,hati rasa sangat sebak.Air mata tak berhenti henti mengalir keluar teringat dekat keluarga.Puasa tahun ni sama dengan Malaysia.Hati sangat gembira,tapi sayu jugak. Semua sisters and brothers ramai serbu masjid dan solat tarawikh sesama.Alhamdulillah Ya Allah,dapat merasai peluang berpuasa di sini sekali lagi.Semoga hati lebih kuat menjalani hari hari seterusnya.InsyaAllah.

Selamat berpuasa.Salam Mubarak Kareem ;)

Ahlan Wa Sahlan Ya Ramadhan.

Picture taken from my window :)

It's 5.34am.I just woke up for Isya' prayer.Tidur terlalu awal semalam maybe because I was too tired sampai solat pun tak sempat.Kebelakangan ni,rasa lain je.Mungkin sebab nak puasa.1 more day to go for the Ramadhan.This is going to be my 2nd Ramadhan without them,here Dunedin New Zealand, a land far far away from my homeland.

Hati dan minda asyik fikirkan nak balik je.Sampai malam malam mimpi benda yang sama,balik Malaysia.It's weird because I'm here in Dunedin but my mind is not here.*sigh* Hati rasa sangat gembira nak sambut kedatangan Ramadhan,tapi at the same time rasa sayu.Sayu sangat.Malam malam tak dapat belajar sebab asal je nak mula buka buku, rasa sedih.Ahh benci betul.Rasa nak menjerit kuat kuat.Nak menangis kuat kuat.Kan best kalau dapat pergi pantai menangis sekuat kuat mungkin kat situ.Rindu pantai.Rindu nak tengok sunset....

Dulu,kalau dekat rumah bulan puasa best.Petang petang pergi bazar ramadhan.Lama betul.Pusing satu stadium.Tak pun pusing semua kedai ada.Lepas tu kena marah dengan Ma sebab lama sangat merayau petang petang.Lepas tu tak tolong Ma kat dapur.Ish ish.Rindu nak kena marah.Rindu nak tolong Ma dekat dapur before buka puasa.Rindu nak buat kuih kuih.Rindu nak tengok 'hells kitchen' dekat dapur sebelum buka puasa.

Kalau dekat Dunedin,bulan Ramadhan best.Puasa sekejap je.Hehe.The best part is,I have friends.I have sisters.I have families here.Kalau last year,hari hari saya buka dekat masjid.Ramai sangat orang.Makan sama sama.Solat sama sama.Hati sedih tapi they are here to make me feel better.Seeing the boys and girls playing outside the masjid,sisters cooking in the kitchen,brothers talking and smoking outside.Just like in Malaysia.They all make me feel good.Setiap kali azan Maghrib,hati rasa sangat sayu.Sayu yang pelik.Walaupun dah hari hari buka puasa kat sini,tapi still every time i hear the Azan,my heart cries.My tear flows out.Not just the first day of fasting,but the whole month. Azan,sangat sayu kedengaran.Sangat menyentuh perasaan. Air mata bergenang.Air mata jatuh setiap kali dengar Azan untuk buka puasa.You can say that I'm weak.But yes, I can't stop the tears from flowing out.I can't stop myself being weak.But I survived last Ramadhan.And I'm gonna be stronger this Ramadhan.Tears will never stop flowing as long as you have heart.

I'll try to be strong.Always.It's just one month to go before celebrating Eid with my beloved ones.I'm counting.They're waiting.Ya Ramadhan, you are here.Ya Ramadhan, I'm happy to meet you again. Ya Ramadhan, make me strong. Ya Ramadhan, I hope I can be with you the whole month.Ya Ramadhan,please be fast because I want to see my loved ones.Ya Ramadhan, be with me and I'm here waiting for you. Ahlan Wa Sahlan Ya Ramadhan....

Snow of the heart.

The street cars are
Like frosted cakes --
All covered up
With cold snowflakes.

The horses' hoofs
Scrunch on the street;
Their eyelashes
Are white with sleet.

And everywhere
The people go --
With faces tickled
By the snow

Winter

by Dorothy Aldis

Akhirnya,Dunedin bersalji jua.It was snowing for two days.Everyone was so happy.All white.Cantik tak terkata.Alhamdulillah dapat merasai nikmat ni.School was closed,classes and workshop were cancelled.Seronok :) Woke up in the morning,watching the snow falling down from the sky was very fascinating.My heart bloomed.I kept thinking how beautiful it would be if my beloved ones were here with me to experience this...

Snow falling on my face.Could feel the softness of snowflakes.

My first snowman ever :)

A big big love to my beloved friends esp Mimie and Afzan.Love you girls.

Kids never upset me.They make me laugh and smile :)

Snowflakes.They are white.They are clean.They are pretty.They are lovely.

Make Me Strong.

That on that day I’ll be ok
But we’ll never know cause
That’s not the way it works
Help me find my way

My Lord show me right from wrong
Give me light make me strong
I know the road is long
Make me strong
Sometimes it just gets too much
I feel that I’ve lost touch
I know the road is long
Make me strong

I know I’m waiting
Yearning for something
Something known only to me
This waiting comes with
Trials and challenges
Life is one mystery
I wish that somehow
You’d tell me out aloud
That on that day you’ll forgive me
But we’ll never know cause
That’s not the way it works
I beg for your mercy

My Lord show me right from wrong
Give me light make me strong
I know the road is long
Make me strong
Sometimes it just gets too much
I feel that I’ve lost touch
I know the road is long
Make me strong

Words: Sami Yusuf
Music: Sami Yusuf
Produced by Sami Yusuf

Kembali and posts deleted!

Assalamualaikum.

Lama sudah diri ini tidak menyentuh dan menekan nekan butang butang laptop untuk menulis blog. Mungkin sibuk.Mungkin malas.Mungkin terlalu banyak benda untuk diluahkan.Banyak betul mungkin dalam hidup ni kan.Maaf kalian,terpaksa menghapuskan post post sebelum ini.Bukan terpaksa,tapi sengaja disebabkan hal hal tertentu.

Sekarang Semester 2 bermula. Masih dalam musim sejuk. Musim yang dulunya sangat memberi tekanan kepada diri ini.Tapi tidak sekarang.I'm okay with the coldness now :) Semakin lama,diri boleh menerima apa yang diberi oleh-Nya.

Sebenarnya diri ini mahu meluahkan perasaan.Maaf sebab mungkin kata kata terlalu emotional tapi this is what I'm feeling. Sejak dua menjak ni asyik mimpi diri ada dekat Malaysia.Dengan Ma,Wea,ahli keluarga yang lain jugak.Susah nak percaya,setiap malam luang masa dengan family.Rasa seperti sangat real.I could touch my Mother's face,kissed my Father's hands.The surrounding was too real to be described. Tapi diri ini menyedari bahawa itu hanya sekadar mimpi.Sangat real.Siap tampar tampar pipi untuk bangunkan diri sendiri sebab hari tu kelas pukul 10pagi.Tapi tak bangun.Mungkin diri ini terlalu degil.Tak nak bangun. Tak nak! Hati menangis nangis.Bangun je tidur,bantal basah.Mata pun bengkak.Bangun lambat,lepas tu pergi kelas tak mandi.Ops *_*

Maaf kerana diri ini terlalu lemah dan manja. Tak apa,sekejap je lagi.Hang in there.Ramadhan akan menjelma.10 more days.Sungguh tak sabar nak menyambut raya bersama mereka.Hati,sila berkeras.Sila bertegar.

It's 2.10am now. But I'm still haven't touch my lab book yet. My first 1000 words lab report haven't done yet.And my presentation materials too.Oh jangan malas Siti Fairuz Latif.Semangat sedikit.Ingat, no matter how breathless it is, you should keep walking through the path that you've chosen.

Baik,mungkin setakat ni sahaja untuk sekarang.Okay Fairuz,kuat!Mari bermujahaddah !

Selamat malam :)