Fluttering Butterfly: May 2012

Sunday 27 May 2012

rough but wonderful

It's 12am, 9 degree celcius and it's 9 days to final exam (i know what a lame intro aye?) The weather is getting cooler and the wind is blowing like its the end of the world. Blowing towards me and gives me the air to breathe. Alhamdulillah I'm still standing and still surviving. It was a bad day today. I'm stressed enough with the exams and studies, please don't make it worst people. Feeling sick since last night. I need more vitamin C. It's exam period so it's normal for me to be sicked since i was in school. I still remember one of my teachers called me a sick girl because i always get sicked whenever i have exams. My immune system is too weak i guess. And yeah back to my story, I felt so bad disturbing other people in the library by making sounds like sniffing and sneezing. so i decided to go home. On my way home, there was a group of high school girls, walking towards me and suddenly shouted at my ears. I was alone. And i just didn't know what to do. The only thing i could do is smiling because i was afraid of them. What am i afraid of? I'm scared if they will do something worst than that. Why they are so close minded? They called me close minded people just because i'm wearing hijab and i'm a muslim. People, for me you're the ones who are close minded because you're judging me based on what you hear and see. Please people, if you're really really open minded, you won't judge others roughly just like that. So yeah, as usual this kind of thing really makes me sad and I walked back home like nothing happened but i just couldn't stop the tears from flowing out. I slept for 1-2 hours hoping i will forget everything after waking up. Alhamdulillah feeling better now. That's life, it's rough especially when you're far away from your beloved ones. But wonderful when you have people around you that can make you laugh and forget about the rough times :)

It takes some silence to make sound
It takes a loss before you found it
And it takes a road to go nowhere
It takes to a toll to make you care
It takes a hole to make a mountain

Bye :)

Sunday 13 May 2012

Coldness

It's 2.25am in the morning and its 4 degree Celsius outside. Yes, the winter is here. Earlier than expected. The leaves are not even yet fully fallen. They are still coloured and hanging on the trees. I just woke up from my sleep. I slept at 8pm after had a very very big dinner. It has been 2 years and a half I'm here and this gonna be my third winter. I thought I am adapted enough with the weather but no. I was wrong. Winter is a season that makes my world dark. Sunrise is at 8am and sunset is at 5pm. It is dark when I go to school in the morning for 8am class and it is darker when i come back from school in the evening. Can you imagine that? Now I'm having winter symptoms again, eating so much, always sleepy, being lazy, having a chronic homesickness, always close my window and curtained it tightly and yes excluding myself in the room.

Mr sunshine, please don't hide yourself too often, i need you! True, it's not easy to be adapted. I thought we are pretty much made to be adaptive toward changes, but well maybe not to weather i guess. I was born and grew up in a very warm land for almost 19 years and I'm only here for few years so yeah it's not easy right? But well, I've tried and still trying to make myself comfy here. InsyaAllah. Oh ye, it's 22 days to final examination for this semester and I've done nothing (yet). Five papers for the exam and no study week for us. Seriously I'm freaking out T_T . Okay, need to go back to study before going to school in few hours. Bye :)

'' surely with every difficulty there's relief. Surely with every difficulty there's relief'' (94:5-6)